He's known around these parts as Mr. Las Vegas, the Matinee Idol, Mr. Donkey Shit (from his incredible 1963 hit song "Danke Schoen" ), and Ol' Plastic Face (actually, I made the last two up but don't tell anybody) and he has some ugly and expensive airplane problems which I think we all can relate to.

We're talking about Wayne Newton, of course, and the Wayner (hey, there's another yet nickname and this one I didn't make up) has a problem which may force him to extend his show at the Tropicana after its scheduled March closure.

It seems Mr. Newton took his private plane in for repairs--a (mother) Fokker F-28--spent more than $700,000 to get the thing fixed up, left it sitting in a Michigan airport for almost three years and now owes over $60,000 in hangar rental fees.

The bummer about the situation is that the plane may look fine from the outside but on the inside, according to a potential buyer who took a tour, is full of ugly and health-threatening black mold, making the plane virtually unusable.

Wayne thinks he's gonna sue somebody but he's not sure who, yet, but, as we can all see, "Wayne is the real victim here" (according to Wayne's representative) so someone else is gonna pay.

A representative of the black mold said "Mr. Newton is reaching here. My client was just doing his job and we can't wait for our name to be vidicated in the legal system should it come to that. In the meantime, we're going to get back to work inside that plane as Fokkers are mighty tasty eatin'."

Bummer for Wayne. I guess we'll have to see his show and buy a DVD afterwards and help Ol' Midnight Mold (yep, there's another one) out of this jam...