If you are an NFL football fan you've probably seen impressionist Frank Caliendo on Fox NFL Sunday every week as he's been appearing on the pre-game show in some capacity since 2001.

His claim-to-fame, at least to football fans, is his uncanny impression of now-retired football commentator John Madden (who supposedly hated the bits) but he also does multitude of other characters including Charles Barkley, Dr. Phil, former Pres George W. Bush, Jay Leno and Robin Williams. He also did a series on TBS called Frank TV and regularly appeared on Fox's MADtv.

MGM Mirage has had their eye on the comedian for quite awhile but couldn't sign him due to a clause in Danny Gans' contract. Said Caliendo: "When Danny Gans went to the Wynn, that’s really when it got serious, because I couldn’t do anything at some of the MGM Mirage properties because he had a deal to be the lone impressionist with the company. But when Danny went to Wynn, we did talk a little bit about it. When Terry Fator got his deal at The Mirage, we talked about going to some different rooms. There was a lot of interest, and it was an on-and-off thing where we said, ‘Let’s try it this way,’ and it finally worked out.”

Now, beginning October 12th, you'll be able to catch Frank Caliendo at the Monte Carlo. And if you miss him at first, don't worry about it as he signed a 10-year deal with the property. We're not sure what it is about these relatively unknown entertainers getting 10-year deals but MGM Mirage must like them for some reason as they recently gave puppeteer Terry Fator a decade-long contract to perform at the Mirage. (They also just extended magician Lance Burton's contract for 10-years but at least he's a known commodity)

Caliendo will continue his work on Fox NFL Sunday so hopefully he can slip in a few national-audience plugs for Las Vegas and drum up some much-needed business for the city.

What Kind of Show Will Frank Do at the Monte Carlo? Read On... (more)

An advisory for ground-level smoke/ozone is in effect for Las Vegas tonight and Monday because of the wildfires in Southern California. Gusty winds are blowing from the southwest into the Las Vegas Valley at 22 mph, carrying smoke from the fires with it.

As with past instances of winds blowing smoke over from California fires, many people can expect coughing, hacking and breathing difficulties.

In Victorville, A Pain in the Ash (more)

There's a website called Casino City that deals with everything gaming and a few weeks ago they rated their Top 10 Most Memorable Gambling Movie Characters, many of which were from movies based in Las Vegas and all of which were males.

In the movies (and perhaps in real life), men seem to be more prone to being degenerate gamblers, hustlers, and casino playas. Interesting male characters played a big role in movies such as The Hangover, The Cooler, The Gambler, Rain Man, Casino and Rounders.

We're glad Casino City decided to consider the female side of the gambling movie genre, too (as it gives us an excuse to post some pics of hot actresses--see below--which is always a good thing). Many of the movies took place in Las Vegas although not all of them. If you want to take a look at their list of the Female Characters from Gambling Movies along with vid clips of the gals doing their thing, check out their site for actresses worth taking a gamble on such as Sarah Jessica Parker in "Honeymoon in Vegas", Annette Bening in "Bugsy", and Heather Graham in "Swingers".

Some Pics of the Chicks from Gambling Flix (more)

UFC 102 goes tonight and if you're wondering where to catch it, see below for the complete listing.

The battles will take place in Portland's Rose Garden arena and start at 7:00 p.m.

Here are the betting odds for the top of the fight card:
Randy Couture -175, Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira +145
Keith Jardine -140, Thiago Silva +110
Nate Marquardt -160, Demian Maia +130
The entire card complete with lines and predictions here
(odds subject to change, of course).

Where To Watch UFC 102 (more)

Busted. Bummer, dude.

Being LowLifes we tend towards allowing people to pretty much do what they want to do as long as they aren't hurting anyone. This includes most things sexual (except some of those kiddie & animal things--well, most animals, anyway. For some reason, furry haunches just make me wanna lala, as Ashlee would say).

Sometimes the law lags behind a bit. For example, Nevada had a sodomy law in effect until 1993 when it was repealed by the state legislature. Seems like it was never enforced against hetero couples--only against gays so they threw the hole, er, ah whole thing out.

Ganja smoking is another activity that will, most likely, become legal some day. Little by little, with things like reduced or no sentences for small amounts and the approval of medical marijuana initiatives (and we all know that's the first step towards broader legalization whether we want to admit it or not) we're moving towards that.

It's rather amazing how many lifestylers smoke (or would smoke if they weren't tested or, of course, if it were legal) now and then.

But, of course, it's not legal just yet so when you're busted with 2,000 pot plants there's a pretty good chance you're gonna pay the price.

It seems four Las Vegans had a pretty good business plan--that of growing and selling pot. Most of us probably passed their indoor greenhouse frequently as it was located in those warehouses just off of I-15 at Desert Inn.

Business was just about to really take off as most of the plants were ready to harvest--$7 mil worth--but things were nipped in the bud, so to speak, by a DEA/Metro joint raid.

Who knows, in another decade or so the enterprising pot entrepreneurs might be out of prison just in time to do exactly the same thing legally, with the FDA seal of approval, too...

Looks like those few days we had of relatively cool August weather are over as the National Weather Service has issued an excessive heat warning for today and Saturday.

The record for today is 110 degrees and there's a good chance that will be equaled or surpassed.

The heat will continue for the next several days and then we're due for "monsoon moisture" after that (yep, that's what it says). It's sure been a weird summer for weather around these parts.
Global what, you say?

OK, it'll never happen in Las Vegas but one can dream, can't they?

In Gloucester, England, plans have been submitted to turn an historic 170-year-old hotel into a sex club that would include a "fetish room for adult enjoyment". The hotel is located in the center of town but has been closed and empty since last year.

The plan is backed by the senior planning officer of the city council as he feels the club would add "vitality and vibrancy" to the street. The city planner says the plans for the hotel renovation are sound and moral issues are not part of his concern--that's for the council to decide.

He said that national policy guidance “encourages authorities to promote a diversity of different uses in town and city centres, which allow a genuine choice to meet the needs of the entire community, and particularly the needs of socially excluded groups."

Well, swingers are certainly a socially excluded group, that's for sure.

The hotel will be open as a restaurant during the day and a members-only club for gays and swingers (on an alternating basis) in the evening.

Great idea! Now why doesn't Las Vegas do something like that? Just think of all the groups that would book the rooms--Fusion, LLive, LSO, JP's National Funvention, PurrfectLV--who knows what other groups. At one point there was talk that Hooters Hotel (before it was Hooters) was going to be the first gay hotel in Las Vegas. That concept fell through but a hotel that size (700 rooms) would be about right. Not too big, not too small.

Of course, the city and county officials in not-so-sinful Sin City that tell us what is moral and what isn't would never allow it but it's nice to know there are other places in the world that seem to have a clue...

More On What The Hotel Will Offer (more)

OK, it'll never happen in Las Vegas but one can dream, can't they?

In Gloucester, England, plans have been submitted to turn an historic 170-year-old hotel into a sex club that would include a "fetish room for adult enjoyment". The hotel is located in the center of town but has been closed and empty since last year.

The plan is backed by the senior planning officer of the city council as he feels the club would add "vitality and vibrancy" to the street. The city planner says the plans for the hotel renovation are sound and moral issues are not part of his concern--that's for the council to decide.

He said that national policy guidance “encourages authorities to promote a diversity of different uses in town and city centres, which allow a genuine choice to meet the needs of the entire community, and particularly the needs of socially excluded groups."

Well, swingers are certainly a socially excluded group, that's for sure.

The hotel will be open as a restaurant during the day and a members-only club for gays and swingers (on an alternating basis) in the evening.

Great idea! Now why doesn't Las Vegas do something like that? Just think of all the groups that would book the rooms--Fusion, LLive, LSO, JP's National Funvention, PurrfectLV--who knows what other groups. At one point there was talk that Hooters Hotel (before it was Hooters) was going to be the first gay hotel in Las Vegas. That concept fell through but a hotel that size (700 rooms) would be about right. Not too big, not too small.

Of course, the city and county officials in not-so-sinful Sin City that tell us what is moral and what isn't would never allow it but it's nice to know there are other places in the world that seem to have a clue...

More On What The Hotel Will Offer (more)

Sportswise, UNLV has long been known as a basketball school, owing much of their reputation to the coaching era of infamous Jerry Tarkanian days of a couple of decades ago (which culminated in an NCAA championship in 1990).

While other UNLV sports programs have had their brief moments of relative success, the other most successful program has been that of UNLV Golf, led by coach Dwaine Knight.

They golf team has consistently been highly ranked--often at number 1, won the NCAA National golf team championship in 1998, and individually has had several All-Americans or NCAA champs. Just think what would have happened if Tiger Woods had chosen UNLV over Stanford as he was close to doing.

Former Rebels have also done fairly well on the PGA tour. With UNLV alum Ryan Moore finally winning a PGA event last week, five Rebs have won a PGA event including Adam Scott with six wins, Chad Campbell with four and Charley Hoffman and Chris Riley with one each.

Tiger Woods has nothing on Ryan Moore when it comes to a college career, however. His year of 2004--when he won the U.S. Amateur, NCAA Title, U.S. Publinks, and just about every other major amateur event--is looked back upon as arguably the greatest amateur season in history.

Way to go, Ryan! Now that you've got the monkey off your back it's time to tame the Tiger...

More on Ryan Moore's Career at UNLV (more)

So, whataya think, fellow LowLifes--would you pay to go see a Paula Abdul Las Vegas-style show?

Now that she's unemployed and no longer stumbling through, er, ah, working on American Idol, there's word that Abdul is ready for a full-fledged song-and-dance show at a major Las Vegas resort. Supposedly, she is in talks with The Venetian, Wynn and, most recently, the Hilton, for a variety spectacular.

So, the question I ask is, would you go see the diva? And, if she does manage to put together a deal and a subsequent stage show, do you think she is reliable (read: "stable") enough to show up day in and day out?

Whether you are a Celine fan or not, at least there's an air of professionalism and stability associated with her. Cher started out with a few bumps in the road when she began her Caesars gig but has since settled down with no further issues being reported. Toni Braxton, on the other hand, had issues (health and attitude) and didn't play out her contract at the Flamingo.

We wonder if Abdul has the mental fortitude for this. It would be interesting to find out, wouldn't it?

Since many of the lifestyle party places are often in far away tropical settings, such as Jamaica or Mexico, which require a U.S. passport or, more recently, a passport card (and a few other exceptions, depending on the locale), it's probably a good idea to go ahead and get one if you haven't already.

Trying to obtain one in a hurry for an upcoming trip to Hedo or an international cruise can be a stressful experience (I recall camping out on the steps of the L.A. passport office several years ago in an attempt to quickly handle a last-minute passport SNAFU) and a sucky way to begin what is supposed to be a pleasurable travel experience.

Now it looks like things have been made a helluva lot easier for Las Vegans as we can now simply head down to the Las Vegas City Clerk's office any weekday (9a-4p) for passport and photo services.

To make it really easy, the good ol' City Clerk is having a "Passport Saturday" this weekend so if you want to get your new passport, renew am old one or apply for one of those new-fangled passport cards this might be a good time to do so.

Nevada mines produced 5.7 million ounces of gold in 2008, or 78 percent of the entire production in the United States.

If Nevada were a country, it would rank fourth behind South Africa, China and Australia in gold production.

"Silver State", indeed...

It was high school, Ray's parents were out of town and 8 of us had just enough money for a keg of beer. We wanted to make sure that we all caught a buzz so, with necessity being the mother of invention and all, we used our creative juices and invented a card game called "Shit Face".

Yeah, we could have just sat there and chugged beer but where's the fun in that? Besides, it's better if there's just a little more social pressure on someone to drink. i.e. they lost a bet or a competition, etc.--that ensured drinking beyond common sense and physiological stop signs.

We had all played "Quarters" but that was kind of messy and it took too long to reach the goal of, well, getting shit-faced. At that time, we hadn't heard of Beer Pong but that would have been too leisurely of a drinking pace. Flip Cup? What's Flip Cup? (more on that below) We were on a mission to get blasted and the way-too-loud rock n roll in the background urged us to get there at a faster pace than we could via one of those other bar games.

Someone produced a deck of cards, we all sat down with a full cup of brew with some handy overflowing pitchers nearby and the keg chillin' in the bathtub and viola'! Shit Face--The Drinking Game was born.

The rules to Shit Face are easy. Everyone receives a card. Low card chugs. Easy, huh? If two cards tie for low they both drink two cups (3 drink 3, etc.). Ties were brutal. We also played with the two jokers. If you got a joker you had the power to spite: you could make anyone other than the loser of the same hand chug their drink. Oh, I'm high card? Hmmm... who done me wrong? You! I'm sure you deserve it. Drink, bitch!

More on Shit Face and other Drinking Games including the upcoming Flip Cup Championships (more)

Palms Hotel & Casino owner George Maloof is living the life. In order to cater to the crowd that he wants to frequent his hotel he feels he has to live their lifestyle, at least to some degree.

To that end, George has been linked to a number of hot models/waitresses, movie stars, and Playboy Bunnies (he's currently dating October 2008 playmate Kelly Carrington). Could one or two Miss Universe contestants be the next notches on the bedpost in the Palms Fantasy Suite?

44-year old Maloof will judge the 2009 Miss Universe Pageant at 9 p.m. today (Sunday) on NBC so he will have the opportunity to hand out some business cards, at least. The pageant is at the Atlantis Paradise Island in the Bahamas. Miss North Carolina USA Kristen Dalton won the Miss USA title in April at Planet Hollywood Resort.

So, how does this sound for a new, large-scale entertainment production in Las Vegas?

The painted-face, glam rock band Kiss has announced plans for a $40 million to $50 million Cirque du Soleil-style stage show in Las Vegas called "Kiss: Carnival of Souls".

Details of the specific content of the show haven't been announced but one of the partners in the plan have said it will be "all-encompassing".

"It involves every aspect of music, movement, lighting, stage design and special effects," says a partner of Kiss' Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley. "Since Kiss is the epitome of theatrical rock, we need to make sure it represents the Kiss brand. The Kiss brand has endured and sustained itself like no other group for the past 35 years."

Thus far, none of the Las Vegas venues that could currently hold a production like this will fess up to being in talks with the group but we're always hoping one of these "outside-the box" productions actually succeed.

A man on a Southwest flight heading to Las Vegas starting partying a little early as he took off his clothes mid-flight, causing the plane to return to Oakland where he was arrested (still naked).

The 300 pound man started out by putting his arm around a female passenger and exposing himself. The lady screamed and the man punched her causing a melee. Then, the mile high-naturist broke away from flight attendants and other passengers who who trying to help subdue him, stripped naked and laid down in the aisle where he remained until the plane landed in Oak-town and authorities hauled the guy off.

A heckuva start to a Vegas vacation!

Some comments under the article:
--What happens in Vegas ... STARTS in Oakland!
--Bummer!!!! Las Vegas looses another whale.
--This gives new meaning to "snakes on a plane"....
--He was heard screaming "Isn't this the Red Rooster?"

For us, "happy hour" and "stumbling" often go together as we've been known to enjoy a few (or more) adult beverages at special prices during the happiest time of the day (or night, or morning or whenever--after all, this is Vegas) and then stumble our way home.

In this case, however, our stumbling was more figurative as, while cruising the net, we stumbled across a website which lists nothing but Las Vegas bars and their happy hour specials. So, at least this time anyway, our stumbling didn't spill a drop.

We thought that was the kind of information a dedicated LowLife could use so we're passing it on. It's called Sin City Happy Hour and lists a bunch of neighborhood (and some Strip) bars and their happy hour enticements.

It looks like everything is going according to plan for Celine Dion.

In May we reported that 41-year old Celine had a 13 month plan which included having sex, getting pregnant, having her second child, getting back into shape and then returning to the stage at Caesars Palace, creating an all-Diva rotation of Dion, Cher and Bette Midler.

Well, news reports indicate that Dion is, indeed, pregnant although we're wondering if manager/husband, Rene Angelli, had a lot to do with it. After all, he's 67 years old and recently had a medical procedure related to a heart ailment. Don't be too surprised if the child looks a bit like comedian Gordie Brown who opened for Celine on many of the North American stops...

Bonus Material: A Tidbit from Celine Dion's Recent Tour (more)

No, UFC fans, Chuck Liddell isn't going to fight again (UFC Prez Dana White has begged him not to after losing his last 4 of 5) but he has signed up to do something that will probably be a lot harder for him: dancing.

UFC legend and hall-of-famer Liddell has just been announced as a celebrity contestant on the upcoming season of Dancing With The Stars. Besides his Las Vegas-based UFC ties, Liddell has other Las Vegas connections in that he seems to party in our night clubs all the time.

The other DWTS contestant with a Vegas slant to him is good ol' Donny Osmond, whose sister, Marie, placed 3rd in the 5th season of the series.

We fully expect this to be one athletic endeavor where Osmond will be able to kick Liddell's ass even if Donny is similar to Liddell in his dancing abilities (Liddell: "I don't know how to dance") in that DWTS scores monstrous ratings in Mormon regions which should help pull the LDS singer through several rounds given their passionate voting.

Despite the outcome, it will probably be good exposure for the UFC, hopefully in showing that its fighters have personalities, too.

Our prediction: Liddell gets knocked out by the third round (if not sooner) and Osmond (who can probably dance a bit) makes it through until the later rounds.

The Rest of The DWTS Cast for Season 9 (more)

"Party Like Rock Stars!" You'll see that phrase bandied about in marketing flyers when lifestyle party promoters describe the hoped-for atmosphere of their upcoming lifestyle event--especially the hedonistic, multi-day affairs. And why not? Touring rock stars are legendary for their anything-goes parties which typically include extreme amounts of sex, drugs, alcohol and broken hotel furniture.

When in a drunken stupor it is, indeed, quite fun to crash a chair against a high-def television screen. However, we assume the lifestyle event promoters are referring to the sex part of the rock star party equation as that's what the lifestyle is all about.

To that end we have found a recently released rock and roll power ballad that seems to perfectly describe the relationship between the fun & games of lifestyle sex versus romantic feelings of loving sex with one's true honey.

Over the weekend, Steel Panther, that tongue-in-cheek big-hair metal band that plays weekdays in L.A. and weekends in Vegas, had a release party for their new music video entitled "Community Property", the story of how their minds and hearts belong to their lover but their genitalia, particularly while on the road touring, are considered community property. Check out the chorus of the song:

COMMUNITY PROPERTY
'Cause my heart belongs to you
My love is pure and true
My heart belongs to you
But my cock is community property

More Steel Panther Material: Complete Lyrics to "Community Property", Thoughts on "Reclaiming the Pussy", Saving the Last Fuck (for me) and Some Words From Panther Lead Singer Michael Starr (more)

Ran across an article about live music offerings at Station Casinos. It was posted on Examiner.com.

"Live music in Las Vegas took a back seat to the huge corporate nightclubs in the casinos until recently. Station Casinos has resurrected the live music scene in Sin City with five of its properties hosting live music every weekend, and most of the time it is free.

The first Station Casino is the most popular with the Las Vegas music scene, Green Valley Ranch Resort and its Ovation Showroom. Hosting the top ‘Classic Rock Tribute’ in the valley ‘Yellow Brick Road’ with their all star lineup every Wednesday night from 9pm to Midnight. There is never a cover charge for this show and drinks are a lot better priced than is found in most casinos on The Strip.

Friday nights offer an adult-oriented performance by ‘Steel Panther’. This amazing group of rockers from Los Angeles keeps crowds laughing and partying to their tweaked versions of 80’s and 90’s rock. Again, there is never a cover for this show.

Saturday nights offer another free show with the Sin City Sinners, featuring former member of Faster Pussycat, Brent Muscat. Hard rockers performing great covers of 80’s and 90’s rock along with a few originals. Fridays and Saturdays normally fill up early, so it is a good idea to get there early. Show times are generally from approximately 11pm to approximately 2-3am, depending upon the show."

More on Live Music at Various Station Casinos around Las Vegas (more)

Last month we mentioned in a Know It A.L.L. about the opening of Hard Rock's new 490-room Paradise Tower, part of the $760 million expansion and remodeling project which included a new Joint concert hall, convention and meeting space and, eventually, 12,000-square-foot nightclub and a 40,000-square-foot spa with a unisex Turkish bath.

Since we hadn't tried out the rooms, yet, we didn't know what they looked like on the inside. So, when we stumbled across an article from a travel website about the new tower which included a load of photos, we started drooling and looking at the calendar to figure out when we might be able to personally experience them.

While having a media credentials from American LowLife allows us an incredible amount of status and we are generally showered with free gifts and other exclusive gratuities (the privileged access we've gotten since the site began really is incredible--don't be a hater, now--and has included a free pull on that really big slot machine at Bally's, a free well drink at Boulder Station--even without playing!--and a coupon for a free $5 match play in pai gow--not $2 like most common folk receive--at the Lady Luck--whenever it re-opens), we probably won't see the interior of the 3,500 sq. foot Penthouse suite anytime soon due to a lot of scheduling conflicts.

So, rather than wait for the Lowest LowLife and the Head Mistress to give you a guided tour of Hard Rock's new pride and joy, we decided to let the travel website do it for us.

Here's a look at the Hard Rock Hotel's new Paradise Tower (more)

Gina Carano, the undefeated MMA fighter, is a local girl who led her Las Vegas high school basketball team to a state championship. She's the daughter of a former UNLV QB (and Dallas Cowboys backup QB). She attended UNLV three years majoring in psychology but got the martial arts bug and dropped out.

When she left the University of Nevada-Las Vegas as a junior to devote all her time to Muay Thai fighting, her dad was one unhappy Cowboy. "I'm paying all this money for college, and you're going to run off and fight in Thailand?" he said. Yes, dad, she did and it looks like it was a good thing for her.

Gina Carano is also babe. She's posed for some hot photos in Maxim Magazine and looks pretty good in her role as "Crush" on American Gladiators. She developed a cult fan following from her role as "Natasha" (a Soviet sniper/commando), a purchasable hero character in the video game Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3. (And yes, we have photo samples of each below)

Gina is also a pretty good fighter, going 7-0 so far, and, if she wins her next fight could become a pretty big star ala' other sports glamour girls like auto racing's Danica Patrick and tennis' Maria Sharapova. Golf's Natalie Gulbis is on the verge--she just needs to win a few tournaments (Gulbis also makes Las Vegas her home).

However, her next fight--this Saturday in San Jose on Showtime (7:30)--will be a tough one. She faces Cristiane “Cyborg” Santos (7-1), an intimidating Brazilian brawler who will, most likely, be Carano's toughest opponent, in a 5-round bout (not the usual 3) for the 145 lb. championship belt. It's an historical fight because it's the first championship bout between women and first time in a mixed MMA card where the women were the main event.

Good luck Saturday night, Gina, your home town is pulling for you!

(Check out these articles for more info: LV Sun article and this SF Chronicle piece.)

A Photo Gallery of a Hot Vegas Fighter (more)

If you're looking for something groovy to do this weekend you might want to "Experience" Fremont Street as the hippies and other freaks will be livin' it up downtown partying at something called the "Woodstock TributePalooza".

For the past couple of months, the Fremont Street Experience (FSE) has been celebrating the 40th anniversary of the landmark Summer of '69 (personally, we like 69 year-round but we're just happy the sexual position is receiving some long over-due recognition) and this weekend the party focuses on the original Woodstock concert.

FSE has lined up a bunch of tribute bands who will perform the music of the legendary upstate New York concert with artists doing their best Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, The Who, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Joe Cocker, The Grateful Dead and others.

Sounds like it might be a fun time as we haven't munched on any extremely hairy bushes for quite awhile but I'm just not sure we have enough brain cells left to really re-live the true spirit of Woodstock and besides, my LSD connection just got busted for selling crack and heroin out of his car at Paradise Park (he wasn't too bright--he was parked in a handicap zone) so what do I do now? It's pretty short notice to score 'shrooms or peyote...

The LowLife listing for Woodstock TributePalooza including complete schedule of bands.

As Las Vegas has grown over the past couple of decades, the main route from our primary feeder market has become increasingly "fun" to travel over the years. Interstate 15 between L.A. and Sin City has seen its share of construction over the years and with the increased traffic count some of the delays have been more than bit frustrating.

So, with the continued decrease in tourism (the 13th straight month of decline) and the associated decrease in gaming revenues (the lowest since 2004), maybe now is a good time for more I-15 road construction.

This time around, I-15 will be totally closed twice a week for 90 minutes both Tuesdays and Thursdays starting at 10 a.m. for the next 10 weeks so that crews can do some rock blasting in an effort to widen the road through the Mountain Pass area.

While it's certainly about time for that stretch of road to have some additional lanes, the part we liked about the announcement is where officials are encouraging motorists traveling from California to hang around in good ol' Baker, California until the road opens up again.

Woo hoo, Baker! Now, that's a guaranteed good time. Obviously, the World's Largest Thermometer is the primary attraction but stopping for a bite to eat in BoB's Big Boy (formerly The Bun Boy) is always a treat (it's listed under "Fine Dining" in the Baker Chamber of Commerce directory) but for a gourmet experience try The Mad Greek. If you want to take a look at the main industry of Baker, a tour of the multitude of Garage & Towing offerings would be in order.

Or, you can plan your trip so that you hit Mountain Pass before 10 a.m. or after noon on Tuesdays and Thursdays but that means you'll miss all the action in Baker so weigh the options carefully...

We just had relatives in town who, as they always do when they visit, commented on the high price of Las Vegas gasoline. Well, they were right (this time) and here are a couple of reasons why...

Nevada’s gasoline tax is, indeed, higher than most states as it's the 10th-highest in the nation. The state tax adds 33.1 cents per gallon; combined with the 18.4 cents per gallon federal levy, the tax is 51.5 cents a gallon.

By comparison, Arizona’s gas tax is 19 cents for 37.4 cents a gallon in total taxes and California charges 46.1 cents in gasoline tax for a total surcharge of 64.5 cents a gallon.

Overall, Nevada's prices for gas at the pump are 7th-highest nationwide since we don't produce much of our own and have to import most of it. And, because we import it from California, a state with very strict environmental regulations and, therefore, higher production costs, we end up with a large Shell credit card bill every month.

And yet another reason the relatives use to show the home state is better than Las Vegas (hey, at least there's something to do at night here!).

The venerable Tropicana Hotel, which emerged from bankruptcy last month with a new owner (Tropicana Orange Juice), recently revealed details of the new image it hopes to achieve. First of all, the hotel says it spent 125 million dollars designing a new logo (below) and will change its name to the Tropicana Hotel, Casino & Juice Bar (see new ad campaign, right--click to enlarge).

Additionally, the juice company will spend millions on new outfits for all of it's "Juicers" (formerly "team members", more formerly "employees") as evidenced by the artist's rendering of the cocktail waitresses outfits and the dealer's uniforms (below).

While there's no money left over for actual facility upgrades, in an effort to improve the sleeping experience of guests, plastic sheets will cover all of the old mattresses to ensure the bedbugs don't bite.

Um, wait a minute, let me check that. Something doesn't sound right. I find it difficult to believe that the Tropicana would spend all that money on plastic sheets...

Hmmm... OK, wow. I must still be feeling the effects of yet another wild LowLife weekend in Las Vegas. After re-reading the article it looks like I might have gotten a few things wrong and, as everyone knows, it is the policy of fine media outlets like this one to correct errors as they are discovered, even if the facts were fabricated by this fine media outlet to begin with.

The New Uniforms, The Truth About the Tropicana's New Logo and Other Exciting Trop Stuff (more)

Local girl Natasha Wicks won the right to be an Ultimate Fighting Championship Octagon girl for a year in a contest at the recent UFC Fan Expo (prior to UFC 100).

The shortest UFC girl (5'2") made her debut last night at UFC 101 in Philadelphia and, by all accounts, did a fine job of holding up the sign announcing the upcoming round number, strutting around the octagon and, as is her forte, smiling at all those hooting and hollaring.

Wicks grew up on a farm near Nellis AFB, went to Cimmaron High and was on the track team. She currently go-go dances at Encore's XS nightclub doesn't like to wear makeup and will probably never get breast enhancements. Just thought you'd want to know...

A wee bit more on Natasha...

Le Reve, the stage spectacular at the Wynn Hotel, has always seemed to be different each time we see it and we'd expect nothing less from something perfectionist casino mogul Steve Wynn not only owns but micro-manages.

We've continually heard word that Steve-and his ex-wife Elaine--were never satisfied with the show which is why Wynn bought out creative control of the production for $16 million a few years ago. Now he can tinker with it all he wants. And he does.

Here's a look at the ever-changing Le Reve.

(The LowLife listing for Le Reve)

Once-popular restaurants come and go all the time in Las Vegas (witness the original Andre's several months ago) but this time it's one that LowLife's very own goofster--Biff--swore had some of the best steaks in town.

After 15 years, the Ruth's Chris Steak House on West Flamingo will shut its doors Sunday night (8/9). The restaurant was a favorite of the late-night crowd--including Strip entertainers after they were done performing--as the place stayed open until 3 a.m.

The owner says he will continue to pay rent in hopes the economy will pick up but trying to come back after closing down seems like a losing proposition. The original Ruth's Chris on Paradise remains open.

With every vanilla convention and event that comes to town we just know that some of the attendees are "our kind" (wink, wink) and will be slipping away from the pack to get in touch with their inner LowLife. This weekend, therefore, don't be surprised if you find yourself having a DP with a sexy alien as the Star Trek convention--correction, the world's largest Star Trek Convention--is in town once again.

Please try and remember that in many cultures tentacles, claws and pointy ears are considered pretty damn sexy. You've probably heard that Ferengis are squirters (both male and female) if you lick their ears just so and, like us Earthlings, most alien races have taken to trimming or shaving their genitals, I'm told. Warning: While it may look funny to us mere humans, when going down on an Antican it's not a good idea to laugh at the hairy babe's "landing strip" as they are, of course, carnivorous and do prefer their dinner to be alive. Don't say we didn't warn you...

While the Las Vegas Hilton recently got rid of the long-time attraction Star Trek: The Experience (which was supposed to be re-assembled in Neonopolis on Fremont Street--don't get me started on that albatross) and also removed the fun little Quark Bar, the Hilton event looks to be a robust affair with a ton of Star Trek characters making an appearance including both Shatner and Nimoy. Something Trekkers might like: the Stratosphere is giving conventioneers unlimited rides at the resort so be sure and check out the Big Shot which compares favorably to the early days of hitting warp speed (~sigh~ nowadays warp drives are so smooth ya just hardly notice the transition anymore).

Have fun, ya crazy Trekkers, and remember, safe sex is a universal thing, especially with the Orion women. Make sure you bring a plastic sheet from the Lowe's paint department if you do any of these beauties as contact with the green skin, when sweaty, will give you shingles-like bumps over much of your body in 4-5 days. Talk about a burning sensation...

The LowLife Star Trek Convention listing.

An Orion Primer--Just in Case You Hit the Hilton this Weekend (more)

(It's nice to get some background...)

"Former President Clinton, under cover of darkness, parachuted into North Korea with a knife in his teeth and rescued journalist Laura Ling and Euna Lee. It was a 13-hour flight home, during which, according to standard rescue protocol, Clinton gave both of them mouth-to-mouth."

TV host Jimmy Kimmel

You like Vegas shows, we like Vegas shows (some of 'em, anyway) and yes, even those famous stars of the big and small screen love Vegas shows. Part of the reason pop culture icons like to see productions in Las Vegas is the show itself, of course, but another reason is the very nature of celebrity privacy in Sin City.

In Hollywood and New York City especially (and to a lesser degree most every touristy place celebrities visit), the paparazzi hang around and record everything a celeb does like eating, coming out of stores and picking their noses.

However, the professional paparazzi hate Las Vegas because everything happens on private property so access is tightly controlled. And if you violate the terms of your visit you won't be allowed back. That's why nearly all the Vegas photos with celebs in them are of the red carpet variety.

Celebs love it. They only have to appear at some pre-arranged photo op in front of Pure or Tao or the entrance to a Cirque show, smile for a few minutes and then wave goodbye. And then they are gone, whisked away through this private entrance, in to see a show, backstage to visit with the performers, out that private exit, into a safe limo and viola'--no muss, no fuss, nothing on TMZ they didn't want there.

Of course, in an age when the masses have camera phones some very notable exceptions occur, particularly at Las Vegas nightclubs, but for the most part, celebrities enjoy a relative freedom from graphic embarrassment they don't receive in a lot of other places that offer high-quality (sometimes), upscale (nearly always), celeb-infested (often) entertainment.

Anyway, below is a list of shows that celebrities supposedly dig the crap out of... (more)

According to Gossip Dude Norm's info, country icon Garth Brooks has signed a 16-week headliner deal to appear at Encore starting in October.

If true, it'll be interesting to see how Brooks is received after walking away from a white-hot career in 2000 to spend more time with his three daughters. Garth used to pack 'em in back in the day so we'll find out if there's a pent-up demand to see him again or if country fans have passed him by...

The Vegas coppers must have caught them on a bad day or else the Sapphire girls at the formerly topless Rio pool had taken a turn for the worse from when they first began the Sapphire/Rio collaboration. Even considering how bad most people look in their police photos, we seem to remember the talent at the Sapphire pool was a bit better.

With all the charges of soliciting prostitution and drug possession, it's fairly easy to see why the Rio called in Metro to do an undercover investigation on the bunch.

While some of this activity could be expected, considering how widespread the problem was it appears that Sapphire and Rio lost "institutional control" over the girls which sucks for one major reason: no other casino will attempt a venture with a gentlemen's club in the foreseeable future. We don't know if all the girls worked at Sapphire or if some just found the pool a better location than a casino bar (or street corner).

The Mugshots of those Arrested in the Sapphire Pool Sting Operation (more)

We think Diana Krall is uber-sexy and, since she's appearing at the Palms on Saturday and one of the local papers did a quick bio of the jazz pianist/vocalist, we thought it was a good excuse to post a picture of her in Know It A.L.L.

She may not be as cream-the-jeans hot as some vixens who receive massive appearance fees to celebrate their birthday at a Strip nightclub because they appeared in some short-lived reality show but she's got something those hotties don't have: real talent (and a bunch of Grammys).

We were hooked with her first album in 1993 and that was before we knew what she looked like. It's always nice to have a mood-setting, candle-light dinner kinda CD you can pull out to add a romantic ambiance to the courting process and Krall's music--and sexy voice--can do that.

Her latest effort is Brazilian-influenced so expect a bossa nova atmosphere should you attend the concert at the Pearl.

Perhaps someone attending one of the hacker's conventions last week did it or maybe it took a hacker to catch a hacker (or, at least, catch a hacker's work) but a couple of attendees of the annual Defcon/BlackHat computer security conferences discovered that some ATMs around Las Vegas are either completely bogus or are real machines fitted with a malicious card-reading device designed to obtain account numbers and PINS.

At the Riviera, site of one of the conferences, a hacker noticed a suspicious-looking ATM and called in authorities. The fraudsters had set up a fake ATM kiosk at the casino which was designed to log the card data and the PIN numbers of anyone using it, information that would most likely be used to make counterfeit debit cards.

The other incident happened at the Rio where one of the Defcon conference presenters--ironically, an expert on credit card security--tried to withdraw cash and noticed something wrong. Funny thing is, the hacker was trying to withdraw money from the ATM to purchase a Penn & Teller gag item--a metal version of the Bill of Rights designed to set off airport metal detectors. P & T are such pranksters, aren't they?

While metallic copies of the Bill of Rights designed to cause mischief are, most likely, a protected form speech, malicious software such as this isn't so the U.S. Secret Service and the F.B.I. are hot on the case.

This problem isn't restricted to Las Vegas so it would be wise to pass on using suspicious-looking ATM's and, should you use a machine that didn't dispense cash, get with your bank as the ATM's mentioned in both articles not only gathered account information for the scammers but debited the card-holder's banking account--a double whammy.

Ya gotta be careful who you let into your lifestyle events...

What happened at a Nebraska swingers event is why many Las Vegas lifestyle parties have such a tight screening process. These self-described "ultra-exclusive" swingers events that hit Sin City every now and then don't have the problem detailed below because they require an extensive background check including:
--The submission of several life-size photos that--can you believe it?--must be somewhat recent
--References from swing partners that you are still on speaking terms with (if any)
--Your swing resume'. This needs to portray a decent experience yet not too much (for that would indicate you might be, god forbid, a slut).
It shouldn't go back too far (because that would be a good sign you are too old, even though many of the promoters themselves don't qualify)
It shouldn't be too bizarre (as that would be a dead-giveaway you are too much in the fringe of the lifestyle world and not actually a "true swinger" but fall more in the "pervert" category).

But no, the Cornhusker Couples' Connection Club didn't go to all that effort for their "Aphrodite's Fantasy" event and they paid the price. While the organizers intended the event to be "a week-long carnal smorgasbord of wild, untamed sexual abandon and untold pleasures of the flesh," they ended up with a bunch of middle-aged, overweight participants who looked like your Uncle Murray and who might experience the occasional irritable bowel syndrome at an inopportune time. No wonder groups like this always ask for extra towels.

And the motel staff, what did they think about the demographics of the party people? One desk clerk said "To be honest, I try not to think about it too much. That's a mental image I just prefer not to have in my brain."

Read the entire account of what you could possibly happen should you host a non-exclusive lifestyle event.
(Note: The source is "America's Finest News Source", i.e. the Onion, so you know it's an accurate and unbiased report...)

In news we've all been waiting for it seems Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson are an item again, if their playful rendezvous at the Hard Rock Hotel was any indication.

Tommy Lee was in town with the rest of the Motley Crue boys for CrueFest last night and the on-again, off-again couple appeared to be back on as they were having a good time together at HR's Body English.

Here's an article that gives a riveting account of the couple's stormy relationship. You won't want to miss it unless, of course, you have yard work to do.

We're wondering if Pamela will be joining Tommy and the motley gang at the official grand opening of Vince Neil's Feelgoods club on west Sahara tonight. Feelgood's has been having their "soft" opening for the past couple of weeks and tonight (Sunday) was going to be the big kick-off since the rest of the band-mates would be in town due to the CrueFest tour.

We ran across a listing of Las Vegas area bowling lanes the other day and weren't sure where to put it although we thought we oughta put it somewhere on ALL. I suppose we could start a new category in with all the other venues we have listed for Las Vegas but then again, maybe not.

So, we'll just post it in this Know It ALL (below) so that we can refer to it via the news archive search feature should anyone ever ask.

Come to think of it, bowling is a good, pressure-free way to meet other lifestylers. Maybe we'll have a LowLife bowling night one of these days. Lucky Strike Lanes at the Rio would be a good place. It's an intimate place (only 10 lanes) that is really more of a nightclub with lanes.

I remember a Lifestyles Convention quite a few years back in Reno where one of the events was "lingerie bowling" under the blacklights. I don't remember much about the actual bowling but I do recall casino security constantly telling us to keep our clothes on...

A List Places to Bowl in Las Vegas (more)