The good news is no Las Vegas restaurant lost a coveted Michelin star in the tire manufacturer's world-renowned dining guide this year nor did Los Angeles gain any ground on Vegas' dominance over the larger city we established in both the 2008 and 2009 L.V./L.A. editions.

Unfortunately, the bad news is, Michelin has announced that due to the, er, distasteful economy, there won't be a 2010 guide at all so, while no one loses a star, none of the restaurateurs care because the bigger picture totally sucks goose pate' (see interesting note on pate' below).

Our LowLife bud, Chef Andre Rochat of Andre's Monte Carlo and Alize' at the Palms, didn't think the lack of a guide would hurt business too much "because there is no business pretty much in general. I don't think we've seen the worst yet," he said.

Michelin does plan on doing a guide for 2011 so hopefully the worst will be over by then.

For a list of the Vegas restaurants that received Michelin stars (and hotels that received Michelin "Four Red Pavilions") in the 2009 guide, click here.

A Pate' vs. Dog Food Taste Test (more)

Sounds like the vultures are swooping in on Michael Jackson's body and quite a few people, including family members, will benefit handsomly now that he's dead.

According to yet another one of those Vegas gossip guys, Michael Politz, it looks like Neverland will become a tourist attraction and recordings Jackson left behind, including songs done at the Palms recording studio, will be a gold mine for those with the rights to 'em:

"Neverland Ranch may be resurrected - as both a burial ground for the King of Pop and a Graceland-like mecca for his fans - if his family has its way. "The family is considering all the options right now to try to make the most money off of Jackson's estate," a source close to the pop icon's relatives said. Cameras captured Michael Jackson final rehearsal -- the day before he died -- in footage that's already being compiled for a DVD and album, according to published reports yesterday. A source at AEG, promoter of the London concerts, boasted only hours after the King of Pop's death: "We have a live album in the can," according to the entertainment Web site TheWrap.com.

The live show is reportedly set to include superstars such as Madonna, Diana Ross, Wyclef Jean, Bruce Springsteen, Stevie Wonder and Barbra Streisand. It was also revealed yesterday that Jacko recorded a treasure trove of songs for his three children -- insisting the tunes not be released until after his death, a source close to the family told The New York Post."

We're not sure if this is going to be a series or not but we sure hope so. The Las Vegas Sun has created an in-depth profile of Palms and Palms Place with a look at all the clubs, restaurants, spas and shops in the two hotels. It also lists some other useful tidbits such as internet access costing $14.99/day and their airport shuttle running $9 per person.

We would anticipate the Sun, whose parent company Greenspun Media Group also owns the Vegas.com websites, would develop a profile on each resort in town so we'll be linking to them when they do...

We knew that Donny Osmond (appearing at the Flamingo with his sister Marie) and Michael Jackson were rivals, growing up in the pop music world at the same time and in similar circumstances but we didn't know they were actually pretty good friends, remaining in contact throughout the years.

Las Vegas Review-Journal gossip columnist Norm! takes a look at the connection:

Their last conversation was about 18 months ago. Close friends throughout their iconic careers, Michael Jackson and Donny Osmond stayed in touch by telephone over the years.

"We met when we were about 13," Osmond recalled Friday, a few hours before taking the stage for the Donny & Marie Show at the Flamingo Las Vegas.

The teen idols bonded over an uncanny number of coincidences: Both were members of famous musical families before they reached their teen years. Both were from families with nine children. Both were the seventh child.

"Our mothers were even born on the same day," said Osmond, "and our fathers were both extreme disciplinarians, although my father was not a Joe Jackson."

At 14, Jackson had his first No. 1, "Ben," in 1972. It was written for Osmond, but he was later told they couldn't reach him because he was touring. That made 'em even. "One Bad Apple," The Osmond family's' No. 1 hit in 1971 (when Donny was 14) "was written for Michael."

More on Jackson/Osmond Connection (more)

Once again, Clark County's only totally nude strip club with a full liquor license is in the news. With the recent conviction of the previous owners of killing their doorman for saying bad things about the place to taxi drivers, the current owners (who just so happen to be lawyers and took the club as payment for defending the previous owners in the murder trial) needed to get some good news out there counteract the bad press.

They wanted to remind everyone that they have spent $2 million upgrading the place and that the 12-part Playboy TV reality show "King of Clubs" has wrapped up filming inside the Palomino and will air beginning in September. They think the city of North Las Vegas will be very proud of the show.

The NLV mayor has a different opinion. "I just don't see a whole lot of positives that it adds to the neighborhood," the mayor said.

Personally--and we don't want to get killed for this (literally!)--while we've noticed an improvement in the structural features of the Palomino Club it's still kind of seedy and on the lower end of the class spectrum as far as dancers and clientele go. Perhaps the TV show will help upgrade their image so we'll have to give it another try on down the road.

The king is dead, long live the king. As most everyone knows by now, the so-called 'King of Pop', Michael Jackson, died yesterday in L.A. at age 50. While Jackson never performed a ticketed show in Las Vegas as an adult (was he ever an adult?), he does have an extensive history in our fair city.

This article takes a look at Michael's history in Las Vegas, from the Jackson 5 shows at the original MGM (now Bally's) in 1974, through his friendships with Siegfried & Roy, Steve Wynn and Palm's owner George Maloof. Jackson hung around Vegas quite a bit staying at different hotels and even renting a Summerlin house and purchasing a home (near an elementary school, btw) in central Las Vegas.

It sounds like Jackson did some extensive recording at the Palm's recording studios so I would bet we haven't heard the last from the King of Pop.

Fremont Street created a special Michael Jackson-themed video show for the Fremont street canopy and other tributes popped up around the town, too.

According to a new book that has just been released Cirque du Soleil founder Guy Laliberte is a genuine French-Canadian LowLife. In the unauthorized biography entitled "The Fabulous Story of the Creator of the Cirque du Soleil", Mr. Laliberte is depicted as a world-class perv who threw some off-the charts parties which included drugs, orgies, world-reknown DJ's and busloads of prostitutes. His multi-million dollar all-nighters were attended by the likes of global business leaders, politicians, Playboy models, Hollywood stars (such as Robert DeNiro) and top-selling musicians (like Sir Paul McCartney). The book release sorta dampens the spirit of Cirque's 25th birthday celebration, we would guess.

Author Ian Halperin, who quotes dozens of former guests, details heroic displays of debauchery. "Everything you wanted was available at Guy's parties," said Myra Jones, a Milan-based fashion model who attended several of the events. "Drugs, the best music spun by famous DJs flown in from Europe and the USA, and the wildest sex you could ever imagine."

"It was beyond crazy; it was complete insanity for hours. Everyone was so beautiful and so free," said Angie Everhart, a Playboy model. "If there was a straight person in the house they must have freaked out watching everyone else trip. They would have thought they were the one on drugs."

Way to go, Guy, ya LowLife! We're proud of ya. We've been to a couple of parties with Cirque performers in attendance and they are definitely on the wilder side. There are also a couple of Cirque performers on this site but we'll let them remain incognito (although it sounds like their boss wouldn't mind at all but would be, most likely, quite proud of them).

"Desperate Housewives" star Eva Longoria is teaming with celeb chef Todd English for a Latin-themed steakhouse called Beso--Spanish for kiss--somewhere in the massive CityCenter when it opens late this year. It will be a spinoff of the original Beso Restaurant and Kiss Lounge in Hollywood.

English, whose Boston-based Olives restaurant empire includes an eatery at Bellagio, will feature his Latin version of flatbreads, along with tacos and chili-rubbed steak.

Longoria, who grew up in Texas, contributed the guacamole recipe and tortilla soup to Beso's original menu.

It would be only fitting if Kiss Party had a mixer in the Kiss Lounge, wouldn't it?

No one will ever confuse Salt Lake City with Las Vegas but as of July 1st, Utah's archaic liquor laws will fall more in line with not only Sin City's but the rest of the nation. If you've ever tried to order an adult beverage in Utah then you are aware of their private-club system where would-be drinkers were required to purchase a membership. That is, unless an existing club member sponsored the non-member which resulted in locals taking turns sponsoring non-members walking into a club and invariably receiving a drink as a show of appreciation from the now-sponsored patron.

Those that pushed for the change in the law thinks this will attract more business to the state but says you won't be confusing them with us. "It's not like we have to turn into Las Vegas to attract convention and tourist business," said Scott Beck, president and CEO of the Salt Lake City Convention and Visitors Bureau. "It's not like we need to walk around with 30-ounce margaritas around our necks."

Hey, Mr. Beck, what the heck is wrong with a 30-ounce margarita around one's neck? It might help you loosen up a bit. And besides, it's extremely convenient--sort of like a feed bag to a horse. We highly recommend it, especially during the Strip's New Year's celebration. We also like the holder for the single shot as shown in the photo to the right. Maybe Utah will see more of this in the coming months. One can only hope...

For a look at the repeal of Utah's liquor laws, this is a good article...

There's a lady in town--at least she was in town as of last week--who goes by the name of "ND". She's tried a whole bunch of different entertainment projects in Las Vegas and each of them has closed, in seemingly more expensive fashion than the last. When she first came to town with a project it was in 2004 and the show was called "Havana Nights" which opened at the now-imploded Stardust amid all sorts of controversy. This is the show that got national attention for its cast's mass defection from Cuba. Havana Nights featured lots of hot Latin dancing and was actually pretty good. Unfortunately, the Stardust knew the end of the legendary hotel was near and didn't want or need an expensive headline show to market so they pulled the plug. ND was known as Nicole Durr back then, the lady with the rich German industrialist daddy who footed the bill for her expensive hobbies.

More of the ND Saga (more)

She wants to be known as "Miss Las Vegas" (we think the previous Miss Las Vegas was La Cage's Frank Marino) but for now she'll have to settle for "Miss Peepshow". The Holly Madison era begins this evening (Monday, 6/22) with Madison replacing Kelly Monaco in Planet Holly's, er, Planet Hollywood's "Peepshow" (see "Planet Holly" sign below). Also making her debut in a bigger part is the lesser-known Broadway actress, Shoshana Bean, who replaces the former star of the show, Mel B.

Holly, unlike Kelly, will be totally topless as she says she has always wanted to be a sexy comedic actress in the vein of Jenny McCarthy. Holly has moved to Vegas lock, stock and boobies, and is house-hunting, looking for the perfect mansion in town that will create the "Barbie effect" when people stop by. What, exactly, is the "Barbie effect" you ask? Well, if you read this rather lengthy article--it was the cover story of a recent Las Vegas Weekly--you'll know. And you'll also find out more about the new Peepshow, her relationship with "Believe" star Criss Angel, her catfight with Channel 3 reporter Alicia Jacobs and her adventures in house-hunting.

The LowLife listing for Peepshow

Holly Madison at "Planet Holly" (more)

While it hasn't opened yet, the massive $8.5 billion Las Vegas Strip project has gone through a ton of drama while in the process of being built. Perhaps the most dramatic moments were when MGM Mirage's 50-50 partner in the deal--Dubai World--decided to suddenly sue MGM, pushing CityCenter precariously close to a bankruptcy and the loss of jobs for 8,500 construction workers.

Here's an interesting look at what went down the day the CityCenter project almost crashed and burned...

"Paris Hilton is going to be filming the next season of her reality show in the Middle Eastern nation of Dubai. Producers will also be re-titling the show to 'This is Why They Hate Us.'"

~sigh~ Oh, Paris, why have ye forsaken us? First, after all the 6-figure appearance fees we paid you to simply be in the same nightclub as the rest of us, you ditch us on New Year's Eve (of all nights!) and party in Australia, instead. Doesn't she realize that Australia doesn't even recognize NYE when we do--they celebrate June 30th? (At least I think that's right. There's something different in koala-land besides just their toilets spinning backwards, isn't there? I know their women glow and their men thunder--everyone knows that. I had better read wikipedia on the place so I can become an expert...) At the time we thought we could take solace in the fact that Australia wasn't all that pleased that Ms. Hilton graced their presence and that maybe she would come back to Las Vegas and forget all those other places.

But no, she's still cheating on us and, worse yet, now Paris is taking direct shots at the money, er, I mean, city she used to love. And she's bashing us in favor of who? A bunch of towel-heads? Can it be?The hotel heir (or former heir) is in Dubai to promote her new sure-to-be-awesome television series, an Arab version of "Paris Hilton's My New Boyfriend".

During her speech to the media (I'm sure Al Jazeera was smitten with her) she slammed on us. Slammed on us bad. "“I respect the culture in Dubai — it’s much classier than Las Vegas.” Paris added, “I love the way they dress here. I’m excited to try the new fashions. I look forward to wearing what they wear in Dubai. Women here are so beautiful. I love the culture in Dubai.”

Ouch. Now that hurt. We have class, tons of it. I think she might be forgetting about Holly Madison, MMA girl fights and Carrot Top. And what about the vampire show at the Stratosphere? Huh? Did ya forget about that one, Miss Sassy Classy? And show me anything remotely resembling the class of Crazy Girls in Dubai and I'll eat my turban.

OK, now I'm steamin'. I want some payback. What might be fun is for Paris to get hauled into a dingy Arab prison for having sex, alcohol and swearing on her new BFF show--something she's been warned not to do in Dubai--and made to wear a scratchy--yet tastefully classy--burkha in between her frequent stonings and canings.

She'll come running back to Sin City, then, I betcha, with her skinny little tail between her legs begging for the Pure group to hire her again. It would server her right, the ungrateful bi-atch...

For five years, the Pond at Green Valley Ranch was a Euro-style pool where women could unleash their boobies publicly if they wanted. However, little did GVR know but that was illegal in Henderson as the city had an ordinance banning topless pools. Who knew? GVR didn't, that is, until a another Henderson/Green Valley hotel wanted a topless pool party and got in trouble for it.

So now the Pond not only hands out pasties to guests but even has pasties bingo where numbers are written on the nipple coverings and ladies can win prizes if they have the winning pair (of numbers).

The Pond offers hookah pipes, frozen grapes and, something we like, standing showers in front of the bar to give patrons a nice view of those that want to rinse off.

So, it ain't topless but it ain't bad...

LowLife listing for The Pond

So, a prominent Nevada politician--Senator John Ensign--just admitted he had an affair last year with a staff member (who was also the wife of one of the senator's top aides). He has resigned from his post as chairman of the Republican Policy Committee--the 4th ranking post in the party--but says he will not resign as Senator.

This promises to be a messy affair, so to speak, as it appears that the salary of the Senator's mistress (see interesting note below) doubled after the affair began and her 19-year old son was paid over five grand for “research policy consulting.” Couple this with the fact that Ensign was a prominent member of the conservative religious group "Promise Keepers"--a "family values" bunch--and you've got some 'splainin' to do, Lucy...

But what if the Ensigns were swingers, instead? Heck, looking at their photo (below) we'd do 'em. Then ol' John wouldn't have to run around having affairs and totally mess up his promising future...

Photo of the Senator and Wife in Happier Times (more)

I saw the billboard and thought that I had to be missing something. It said "Larry King Live". Hmmm...maybe it was a push for his CNN interview show. Then I read "In Las Vegas". OK, perhaps he would be appearing at UNLV--they often have that sort of person speak in their academically-tilted "Barrick Lecture Series".

But then I read "At the Encore" and was all confused. What the heck could the master of the softball-lobbing celeb interview do in front of a live audience? In the Danny Gans showroom?

Well, I guess Mr. King is a master story-teller and his wife, who is a singer and will open the show for him (she has played Vegas before opening for Don Rickles), were having dinner with Steve Wynn and it went from there (here's the story on how it came about). And, of course, there were some openings available in the Danny Gans Showroom...

He's always wanted a one-man show but has never had time for it. This might be the start of his new career. Check it out at Encore, this Friday at 8. You can say you saw it here first. Or not...

Coincidentally enough, Larry King has a new book out (or is it a coincidence?). Here are some bits from the book that you may or may not hear should you attend...

Excerpts from Larry King's "My Remarkable Journey" (more)

Back in January we passed along a tidbit about the Hilton negotiating with the 80's rock band Cheap Trick to perform their rendition of the Beatles legendary 1967 album "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band". While the discussions took a bit longer than expected--March was the original performance date discussed--the deal is signed, sealed and will be delivered in a series of performances beginning September 13th.

Some music buffs said the classic Beatles album couldn't be performed live because of all the studio gimmicks used to produce it (although the top-notch Beatles cover band Fab Faux has done it live) but Cheap Trick has performed it a couple of times now--a DVD of their live NYC Sgt. Pep concert will be released later this year--and, with the help of a large orchestra (26-30 members), a group of Indian musicians (with those obligatory sitars, of course) and some guest vocalists they will perform the show in Vegas after their current tour with Def Lepard and Poison ends.

Will a Sgt. Pepper Show Work in Vegas? (more)

While "swallowing the big burrito" may conjure up images of a wild night with another couple in a Las Vegas hotel room, when the NASCAR Cafe says it, they mean an actual burrito. And they mean big, real big.

The NASCAR Cafe is offering a special 2-foot long, 6-pound burrito called "The Bomb" (hey, that's what I call my "burrito"!) for $19.95. And, if you can eat it all you not only get the meal for free you also get the opportunity to purge said burrito as you'll be awarded free unlimited rides on the Sahara's roller coaster!

Both winners and losers in the eating contest receive something that I think I will start handing out to ladies who attempt to swallow my massive burrito--t-shirts. If you eat the huge thing you get one that proclaims you "Conquered the Bomb!" and if you don't (although, being the nice guy that I am, I will let you re-attempt repeatedly), you have to have your picture taken in a pink version that says "Certified Weenie" on one side and "I Was Defeated By The Bomb" on the other (see below).

Win or lose, I'd still give ya unlimited free rides afterwards, just don't purge on me--I'm not quite that kinky...

LowLife listing for NASCAR Cafe

A Photo of the Loser's Prize (more)

A "Dateline NBC" team spent nearly a year with Las Vegas Metro Police to produce a segment called "Vegas Undercover", a special that investigates pimping, auto theives and money counterfeiters.

“Vegas Undercover” airs tonight (Monday, 6/15) at 10 p.m. on NBC (channel 3).

LowLife members and avid readers of these Know It All columns sent along something they felt we could use. He was right--it was perfect for the site as it combined aspects of Las Vegas, pole dancing and female pulchritude, all things we like to write about and, especially, post photos of. In this case we also got the added bonus of being able to post links to videos which kicks the content's heat index up a notch or two more.

A few months ago, the US Pole Dance championships were held in New York City and the event was won by a Las Vegas dancer who goes by the name of Jenyne Butterfly. She's getting to be fairly well-known in town as she's won the coveted crown of Miss Pole-a-palooza three years running (held at Jet nightclub last December) and you can also see Ms. Butterfly Saturday nights as she performs while well-known DJ Paul Oakenfold takes a potty break from spinning at Rain nightclub.

Janyne beat out 11 other finalists (well, 10 actually, as one of the dancers dislocated her elbow in rehearsals) with some pretty amazing stuff. Here's video evidence that pole dancing has progressed from a something a stripper is forced to do now when her name is called over the gentleman's club sound system to an activity for extremely gifted athletes. "Athletes" you say? Well, Sports Illustrated covered the event so they must be athletes, right?

Congrats to Butterfly for winning the 2009 title. Here's a video of some of the stuff Janyne can do on both the dance pole and rings. And here's her MySpace photo page which has quite a few sexy shots of the li'l hottie.

American LowLife always gets excited when a new lifestyle entity opens up in Las Vegas, whether it's a sex club, a mixer or a house party. Anything that gives Las Vegans and its mutitude of playful visitors more partying options is fine with us.

The latest sexy party choice in town is Desires which is of the upscale, on-premise variety, a sector that's not currently being offered on a regular basis in Las Vegas.

Desires offers an extremely classy and luxurious atmosphere--check out the photos--and is bound to attract a certain discriminating clientele (i.e. LowLifes living the high life!). Attendence is limited for each private party and must be approved in advance (no walk-ups).

We wish Desires a successful grand opening weekend (this coming Friday-Sunday) and hope they actually let us attend a party some day! (I mean, we clean up fairly well when we actually use soap and water...and shampoo...and deodorant...and a toothbrush...and...and...)

Peepshow has announced the replacement for lead Mel B and it's not some Playboy Bunny, soap opera star or ex-pop music chick. This time it's a lesser-known Broadway performer named Shoshana Bean. (Who?! Glad you asked: she was in "Wicked" and Hairspray", but you knew that, I'm sure)

It wasn't a huge surprise when soap star Kelly Monaco did not stay beyond an initial three-month contract, but ex-Spice Girl Mel B had a much bigger part in the show and a lot of Peepshow seemed to be designed around her personality.

"We love her (Mel B), we want her back one day. She's great in the show," producer Scott Zeiger says of Mel B. However, another 12-week run didn't match up with her family schedule" (although with Mel being so pissed about the decision ya wonder if that's true or not).

One celebrity star will be more the norm now that the initial "branding period" is over, Zeiger added. Madison is "a great dancer, extraordinarily beautiful and she's press worthy, for sure," Zeiger says. The less-known Bean is "an amazing talent. She's going to deliver a great performance."

Peepshow loses some of its sex appeal but maybe Bean's theatre experience will enhance the show, although Peepshow is a few sterps removed from a typical Broadway production.

We had high hopes that the under-construction Fontainebleau Las Vegas would, despite all odds, make it through to completion. Unfortunately, the remaining workers have been sent home and the building is being secured due to a battle between the owners and the banks.

Fontainebleau might get things going again but a Florida courtroom would have to issue a favorable ruling in its case against some banks that had promised the cash needed for completion but pulled the funding in March.

The 63-story, 3,815-room development was 70 percent complete when work was slowed in late April. Nearly 3,000 construction workers were laid off at that time, but approximately 250 workers stayed on the job through the bankruptcy filing. The subcontractors are owed more than $250 million dating back 21/2 months.

Hopefully the court will say "hey, dudes, ya promised these guys the money so ya gotta pay 'em" and work will resume. We'd hate to have another unfinished project on the Strip to constantly remind us how bad things have gotten in Sin City. Of course, should they ever open they'll have a hell of a time filling the rooms but that's another battle for another day...

Las Vegas has some excellent cover/tribute bands and our favorite is the tongue-in-cheek big-haired band out of L.A. named Steel Panther. We'll catch 'em now and then at Green Valley Ranch on Friday nights and have even ventured out to Aliante for the Saturday version (although it's not as well-attended and raucous as the GVR version).

Steel Panther is different than other cover bands in that they put on an x-rated, audience-interactive show each time, toying with the "groupies" and pushing the metal band persona to the extremes ala' the rock mockumentary movie "This Is Spinal Tap". They really are excellent musicians when they actually do get down to playing which makes the show all the more fun.

Anyway, our boys got some good press recently, ending up on the cover of Las Vegas Weekly magazine in an article that looks at some of the cover bands around town including the 80's new wave cover band The Spazmotics (although we prefer Loveshack), Prince look- and sound-aliker Purple Reign, classic rockers Yellow Brick Road, and serious rockers Sin City Sinners.

If you haven't seen some of the cover band talent in town you oughta check 'em out. Vegas has some damn good talent in that area...

More On Steel Panther (more)

According to the coroner, Las Vegas Strip entertainer Danny Gans died as a result of suffering a toxic reaction to the painkiller Dilaudid, an opiate similar to morphine.

Seems he was on the extremely strong medication to treat a "chronic pain syndrome" relating to a series of shoulder issues and surgeries on his rotator cuff and hand. He also had high blood pressure and a red blood cell disorder. While he appeared to be in good condition from the outside, it looks like he wasn't actually doing so well physically.

Rumors about Gans' might swirl around for awhile as questions remain about his death. Was it actually an overdose? How much Dilaudid was in his system? Did he have a prescription for this powerful drug and, if so, who prescribed it? This article touches on that but keeps just enough distance so as not to piss off any of the powerful Gans supporters (i.e. Steve Wynn) who also happen to advertise in the Las Vegas Sun and the associated Vegas.com site.

The big lifestyle convention that often holds its annual summer bash here in Las Vegas has announced that they are canceling plans for an '09 event. Citing economic concerns, the Lifestyles Organization (LSO) is pulling out of their planned August 5-9th event that was going to be held at Alexis Park Resort.

Instead, LSO is going to offer a small Meet & Greet for those who have made reservations to visit Las Vegas. The mixer will supposedly be held on either August 7th or 8th and an as yet undecided location.

Taking the place of the LSO convention will be something called the "JP/TSC National Swingers Convention" which looks to be a joint venture between JP/Just Parties, the folks who bring you Swingfest in Miami and Arkansas, and TSC "The Social Club" which supposedly is the "largest swingers club in the South" (says founder Al Woods). The pricing for the parties is significantly lower than the LSO convention parties and JP/TSC allows singles to attend, unlike LSO.

We're not sure where the event is taking place in Las Vegas as they want the location to be secret (we'll see about that!) but they say it'll be held at an "almost new resort" and rooms will start at $29. Hmmm... where could this be? Let's see, a Vegas resort that would accept a huge swingers event, is "almost new", has cheapo rooms and not, it would appear, to be the LSO's selected location of Alexis Park. Not sure but I bet we'll find out.

We'll be posting more on this as we find out additional info but the event listing is here should you want to RSVP and a LowLife forum topic on the subject is here should you want to offer any insight into Swingfest, TSC, or the pull-out of LSO.

Say it ain't so, Mel!

We saw "Peepshow" at Planet Hollywood and thought it was a pretty good show. We went in knowing that one of the celeb co-stars, Kelly Monaco, was going to be replaced by Playboy Bunny Holly Madison at the end of June. OK, cool, we can deal with that. The role wasn't nearly as big as that of Mel B--the other co-star--whose role involved both singing and dancing.

Kelly did a little dancing but mostly just looked cute and, of course, very sexy in her lingerie. (Side note: We actually had an impromptu party with most of the Peepshow cast afterwards in the Heart Bar. They bought us free drinks for the "intrusion" into our space. Mel didn't show up but Kelly was quite fun and appeared to be in the "bi-fem" category as she was extremely playful with one of the little dancin' honeys from the show!)

Anyway, Mel B looked great and did a fine job in her role as the corrupter of Kelly so we figured she would be staying on indefinitely. Guess not. As you can read by the news article below Mel B will also be replaced at the end of this month and she's pissed off about it (she feels "gutted").

We're not sure what happened... Is Planet Hollywood getting cheap? Is the show in trouble? Was there more to the rumor (from a P.E. cocktail server) about Mel B's husband, Stephen Belafonte, getting kicked out of P.E.'s Prive' nightclub for being a drunken asshole last month? Inquiring minds wanna know!

We'll miss ya, Mel B--we hardly knew ya! Hope Peepshow hires another hottie and doesn't simply replace her with a current cast member to save some cash.

The News Report on Mel's Disappointment with her Pink Slip (more)

As you probably have heard, "Kung Fu"/"Kill Bill" actor David Carradine was found dead, hanging by a rope around his neck and genitals (and some reports say wrists, too) in a Bangkok hotel room. While some friends and relatives are crying foul play, it sure looks like he was the victim of an auto-erotic sex act gone awry.

We've witnessed this whole self-asphyxiation-for-pleasure thing up close and personal and, while we don't really understand it, at least the participants had watchful partners just in case a this-isn't-fun-anymore moment popped up in the middle of the "pleasure". It appears Carradine didn't take that precaution and paid the ultimate price for it.

He's not alone, it would seem. Remember several years ago when the Australian rock band INXS was cruising along with a series of hits and then, suddenly, it all came to an end when lead singer Michael Hutchence committed "suicide" by hanging himself with a leather belt (he was naked, of course)? We were taken aback as things seemed to be going pretty well for the band (although sales of their most recent at the time album hadn't reached expectations). Anyway, his girlfriend maintains Hutchence would never take his own life on purpose and that he was another casualty of the auto-erotic asphyxiation fetish.

More on Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation (more)

In a town full of broken dreams, it's kind of cool to hear about a guy who bucked the odds and gambled his way to a happy ending.

28-year-old Anthony Harb plays a lot of poker and had dreams of winning a World Series of Poker purse so he could finally accumulate a decent bankroll. In his previous WSOP attempts, he had finished in the money just twice for a total win of $5,991.

Undaunted, Harb headed to Las Vegas on a one-way ticket and with the $2,000 entry fee, not knowing how he was going to get back should he finish out of the money again.

This time, things were a bit different. Instead of a bust, he was a big winner of a no-limit, hold-em event and won $569,000 and, almost as importantly, a coveted WSOP winners bracelet.

Anthony can return to Southfield, Michigan in style if he wants to but now that he finally has a substantial bankroll, he thinks he's going to stick around for awhile and see how this poker thing plays out.

While many movies, or at least parts of movies, are filmed in Las Vegas--"Hangover" being the latest example--the city has always wanted an actual movie studio to make its headquarters here. It looks like that long wished for concept may finally become a reality.

The billionaire who founded Oakley sunglasses has just received approval from the Clark County Commission to go ahead with plans to build a top-notch movie compound and high-end digital camera plant. When completed, the campus is expected to employ 1000-2000 people.

Having our own state-of-the-art studio hopefully will mean movie makers won't just film a few shots of the Strip or Fremont Street and then do the rest of the work in Hollywood studios.

Movies and features shot with the "Red" digital camera.

Judging by all the claims of sex-godliness by single males on this and other swing sites (and some claims are well-founded, we've heard), we thought we might lend a helping hand, especially in these trying economic times, to those lovemaking studs who might want to make a few bucks using their lovemaking prowess.

Guys: Get paid to get laid--legally! The Shady Lady Ranch, a legal brothel about 150 miles north of Las Vegas, is looking for working men to tap into a new market: female customers.

A few other brothels have tried this over the years with limited results--Nevada law allows the practice--but the Shady Lady thinks it might work this time. The former Hollywood Madam, Heidi Fleiss, wanted to try this in Pahrump awhile back but due to lack of funding and a felony conviction, was unable to realize that vision.

The Shady Lady isn't looking for the younger, 20-something boy-toy, however, as their job specs list men "in good shape, in their mid-30s to 50s." She says that's what women want.

Feel free to take a quick picture tour of the Shady Lady trailer, er, Ranch, including the "famous Love Tub". You can see that it is, indeed, "the most Elegant Brothel in Nevada" (you can see that, can't you?).

Women are housed on the Ranch and sign a 14-day minimum contract. The cathouse, um, lionhouse (?) owner thinks women will want longer sessions than wham-bam men traditionally opt for and will keep her current pricing of $500 for two hours, $800 for three for now. Most brothels give the working girl half of the revenue.

Good luck studs! Let us know how it goes...

We have a policy here at ALL about minors. We don't let 'em join and when we find out about the occasional kid who creates a profile we nuke their ass ASAP. And while we firmly believe in all things perv, we mean that as in "between consenting adults". For this reason and the fact that authorities tend to get real mean when it comes to even a hint of child porn, we don't allow photos of minors in profile pictures, even if you are a proud parent innocently showing a new baby (which get submitted now and then).

But we're gonna break our own rule, this time with a 16 year old. And no, we're not like one of those pervy high school (or junior high school, for gawd's sake!) teachers who take a special interest in their students, if ya know what I mean (and we're still befuddled as to why all these hot looking teachers are baggin' kiddies that just barely have pubic hair...but that's a matter for another time).

Where was I? Oh, yeah, a photo of a teenager barely old enough to drive featured right here on the home page of American Lowlife? Go on! However, when the kid lives in Las Vegas, is 6'3", 205 lbs, throws 96 mph fastballs, hits home runs 570 feet and, most importantly, is featured on the current cover of Sports Illustrated then we'll make an exception. Besides, he probably won't see this anyway.

While being on the cover of SI may not compare to the time yours truly graced the front page of Faaaarm Animal Illustrated (if anyone still has a copy I'll sign it for ya), it's still a pretty big deal and we wish the kid the best.

Bryce: Feel free to become a LowLife after you turn 18--I'm sure you'll do pretty well on this site...

For the local angle on the SI cover, read this.

For the Sports Illustrated Article, Read This (more)

It looks like the Tropicana Hotel & Casino may just make it a few more years after all. The Trop's new ownership group has announced plans to spend more than $100 mil. over the next year to give ol' gal an extreme makeover.

The group, headed by a former MGM Grand President and CEO, plan to remodel the hotel’s 1,876 rooms, the casino floor, all existing restaurants and bars, the show room, convention center and the pool area with a South Beach Miami theme.

It'll take a lot of work to clean up one of the older resorts on the Strip but it's a great location and they sound like they've got a plan and money. So, if you had a future's bet on "Next Casino Implosion", it looks like you might not be able to cash the ticket if you laid money on the Trop.

The practice of Las Vegas Strip clubs paying commissions--some refer to it as extortion--to cab drivers who bring customers to their joints is under a microscope once again, this time in the form of a class action lawsuit. The practice has always rankled the club owners but they risk a severe drop in customers if they don't pay the cab drivers.

It's interesting that a California man--not a Vegas resident--is the person filing the lawsuit but, in any event, he claims the "kickback scheme" has cost club owners $40 million dollars over the past several years and that it hurts Las Vegas as tourists in cabs are generally the ones affected. Locals who drive their own vehicles usually get in free while visitors are charged a cover charge to compensate for the payment to the cabbies.

How the Practice Affects Lifestylers (more)

If she can turn acerbic talent judge Simon Cowell from a scoffing cynic to a fawning fan might it be possible for her to kick some ass on the Las Vegas Strip? While the dowdy and frumpy singer with an angelic voice didn't win the U.K.'s version of American Idol (and her small hometown is severely disappointed that she came in second and unfortunately she's had to check herself into a mental institution to recover from the instant fame and massive attention), she still stands to make some big bucks off the whole "Britain's Got Talent" experience (provided they let her out of the institution and don't pull a "Frances" on her while she's there).

Perhaps some of that money might be coming from Las Vegas if Donny Osmond has his way. The Mormon Showman, appearing in a successful show with his sis, Marie, over at the Flamingo, has taken notice of Ms. Boyle and wants her to perform in the "Donny & Marie Show". We think this would be an incredible business move for the show and would draw worldwide attention to the Flamingo in particular and Las Vegas in general.

While Susan hasn't said yes she has said that she grew up listening to Donny & Marie and was a big fan of theirs. For a never-been-married and, amazingly enough, never-been-kissed singer, the Osmond's "Puppy Love" sure seems like an appropriate song for her to sing, doesn't it?

Who knows, we may even see her on ALL one of these days. If you see the "PuppyLove" profile pop up on this site later in the summer please be gentle the first time around--she's new at all of this. Plus, she may have a no-kissing rule...

The LowLife listing for the Donny & Marie Show

As we previously mentioned in Know It ALL, the Santana residency experiment has begun at the Hard Rock. The reviews have been overwhelmingly positive so, if Santana can keep up the soulful vibe night after night for 3 straight weeks of performing (then two months off, then 3 more weeks, etc., etc.) at the new Joint it will be deemed a major success.

But Santana is just part of the picture envisioned by the Hard Rock. The resort wants to replicate the success of the Elton John/Cher/Midler (and Celine after she has her baby) so they--and, more specifically, Concerts West, the Joint's booking agent--are intensely searching for a second and third artist to fill Carlos' off-weeks.

Santana is a tough act to follow and we don't mean that based on his on-stage performance. We're talkin' demographics and we're talking about fillin' seats night after night. Santana spans more than one generation as he was popular with the baby boomers from the "Evil Woman" days and exploded into a younger crowd's consciousness with the "Supernatural" album.

What other artists fit that bill who would also be willing to play 3 weeks straight? Concerts West president says “It’s pretty wide open. There are a lot of great names and great shows. It could be a David Bowie or an Eric Clapton or it could be Linkin Park or the Foo Fighters."

Who fits the Hard Rock style of entertainment yet will appeal to Baby Boomers and X-gens alike enough to sell tickets night in and night out? It's a tough one, isn't it? Maybe Prince will repeat his semi-successful Rio residency.

It'll be interesting to see who the Hard Rock comes up with. Who would you choose?